As I sit here tonight thinking of my fathers plight, I wonder to myself....Would I want to live in that state? Will I want to put my family thru the emotional, physical and financial hardships that comes with a diagnosis of dementia?
And I find myself saying "NO".
I have a living will. In that living will it says I am to be kept alive at all costs. No plugs are to be pulled, no feeding tubes removed, nothing. Leave me to live out my life in a vegetative st
ate. Well, I need to visit the lawyers office apparently cause I have changed my mind.
Being a Catholic, I am forced to stay my hand at suicide, even if I were to become terminally ill. But that doesn't mean I have to promote my own life.
I pray that I never inherit the gene that causes me these thoughts. I pray that when its my time to meet my Lord, that he calls me quickly and with my faculties in tact, so my goodbyes will be understood by myself.
But IF the time comes that I am not myself, and I am causing heartache and sadness to those around me, I wish the unselfish thing, of dying quickly, is attained. It is my greatest fear in life, that I will hurt those that love me by suffering, and lingering instead of quietly going into the night and into the arms of my Lord....
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