It's not just raining....Its officially pouring!

There comes a time in our lives when fairy tales are a thing of the past. When dreams which never made it to reality fade away. When life finally slaps you in the face and say "wake up"... When that time comes, there is a stark moment of realization, we are all mortal and our lives aren't here for the duration of eternity.

Yesterday I was the recipient of that phone call we all dread answering. It was the phone call from my father telling me he "Needed to tell me something". Unless the speaker is smiling ear to ear or laughing hysterically, those are never good words to hear at the beginning of a conversation. He went on to tell me about a diagnosis he received from the Neurologist. He said it the first time and it wasn't what I was expecting him to say. I was expecting him to say the words "advancing age, typical memory loss and confusion, nothing serious". But he didn't. He said three words I have never heard before together and three words I will NEVER forget for as long as I live.

Lewy Body Dementia.

I am told it is the second leading form of dementia in the world, only slightly behind Alzheimer's. Then the words NO CURE hit me like a sledgehammer in the heart. By now I am typing away on Google while he is talking, looking for this BEAST which is threatening the first man I ever loved. The man who taught me to walk, talk, ride a bike, string a line on a fishing pole, ride dirt bikes, fix the brakes on my car, and generally love me for everything that I am.

No Cure.

Apparently there are medications that can "stall" the progressive nature of this disease that robs us of those we love. But there is no guarantee they will work. Everyone is different, every LBD case is different...

The future.

I don't know what the future holds. Not for my father, my mom, or myself and my family. My father will likely live a life imprisoned in himself in a few years. He will continue to see hallucinations of people whoa rent really there. He will continue to forget things, be confused, mentally deteriorate... My step mom will continue to be his rock. His main caregiver. She will

no doubt have her work cut out for her. And I know that her wings will be waiting in Heaven for all that she has done already for him, and all that she will have to do for him in the future. As for myself, I will mourn the loss of the man I have known for almost forty years. But I will try to get to know the man with this disease. And show him as often as I can, who I am, and how much he means to me. To reaffirm my love for him as much as he'll hear it. As for my family, who knows what they will do. I pray and beg God that they step up to the plate and support my father. Even if its only a phone call once a week..

Pray.

I pray, ALOT. I pray for two things. That he can always KNOW that he is loved beyond what most fathers are loved. And that God does not let him ever suffer. That when things get bad for him, that God somehow erases those moments from his mind. So he is only left with happy thoughts and healthy feelings.

Uncertainty.

No one knows where this disease comes from. Is it hereditary? Is it a fluke of nature? Is it something that happened in his environment at some point in time? His mother had a form of Alzheimer's/Dementia when she was alive years ago. Has this been passed on to my child? Myself?

I'm hoping that through this down pour, I will find a glimmer of "something" out of it. I can't fathom what that might be. But I have to be faithful to my Lord that this situation has a lesson somewhere in it, just waiting to be found....